A Man Odder Than His Last Name

Everyone has heard someone tell the story of the two children whose parents had the audacity to name them Lemonjello and Oranjello.  It is an old wives' tale that pervades across generational and cultural lines.  It is funny but there is a man named Lemongello and he is far more interesting and strange than his last name.

 

Lemongello could pitch.  The problem was, nobody cared about his ability to pitch because they were too distracted by his antics.  When he would throw a bad pitch, it was no uncommon for him to slap himself.  Hard.  Hard enough to leave a visible handprint.

 

One of his most famous tantrums came during a late-game loss.  After getting pulled from the game he went into the locker room and destroyed it.  His teammates' stuff lay strewn across the floor and they walked in to find him asleep on the food table.  His head rested in the mayonnaise bowl and he refused to get up until after everyone had left.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unsurprisingly, as soon as the Astros were able to find a team that would take him off of their hands, they traded him.  Finding out that he had just been traded to the Blue Jays, he demanded to know if Canadians even knew how to speak American.  Lemongello would not be in baseball much longer and that meant his flow of money was stopping.

 

Things for Lemongello were about to spiral out of control.  His cousin, Peter Lemongello, made a big mistake.  He sold over a million records through direct sales using some of the first late-night telemarketing campaigns.  Mark was broke and Peter was not.  Reasonable men would ask their cousin for help, but Mark was far from a reasonable man.  Instead, he decided that the better tactic was to kidnap his cousin and demand a ransom payment.

 

He kidnapped his cousin.  He got paid.  He was quickly arrested.  Apparently, his cousin knew his kidnapper.  He was granted bail and did what any reasonable man would do.  He fled.

 

Eventually, he would serve his time but decided that he needed the gypsy lifestyle.  It is very possible that you might have met him in a gas station or rest stop.  If you do, you might want to check your wallet.

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